you are not scarred. >> bob: they used to -- >> greg: you're insulted. >> kimberly: that happened to my friend. hawkeye. dabs that helped his ego. didn't hurt him. >> greg: it's not nice to call them names but you're not scarred. save that for something bad. >> kimberly: that is it for us "the five." thank you for watching. see you tomorrow if you dare. ♪ later we will do this. welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld or as i am known in russia, margo kiter. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what is coming up on tonight's show? >> president obama shakes the hand ever k pop sensation, psy after the old american wraps are revealed. we will have full team coverage straight ahead. plus there is a new report

saying we will all be syborgs 1234* and what happens when we send bill schulz to a training center for aerial arts? hopeful leahy gets vertigo on the tram parkinson's disease and the safety harness breaks and the mat filled with sharp chards of glass. >> that's a lot to hopeful. >> it is, but i like to aim high. >> i like the specifics. >> it is not that i gained these scenarios out. >> i enjoy that, and now i want you to leave. >> and so i shall. >> bye. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot tabasco sauce sprinkles her on their eggs. i am here with patti ann browne. see what i did there?

and if hilarity was a bridge tournament many would enter him. actor, writer and comedian, that is three things, michael ian black, three names. he is the co author of america, you sexy bleep. and our new york times cory correspondent. go good to see you, irch p. pinch. >> and how it has had an affect on marine mammals. specifically the blue whale population, said one exclusive to the times. >> make it stop.

>> i am paraphrasing, of course. greg, still on screen. i believe they call this a two fer. >> >> on sunday night, a day of the week, president obama greeted psy at the annual christmas in washington concert, if that is his real name amid controversy over the anti-american sentiments. he is now known for hiking gangnam style, but huey was once filled with bile. he said "kill those f-ing yankees killing the captives" he has since apologized saying it was part of a deep emotional reaction. he made sure to praise the sacrifice of the troops in a short speech. he engs inked others, but not psy.

later he said one performance impressed him. >> good to see that ed asner made the trip. mib, in the green m -- in the green room he didn't bash him enough. >> they were the original koreans. you would realize it wasn't nearly as anti-american as it is made out to be. first of all, yankees, he was talking about baseball team. second of all when he talks about killing he means in a comedic sense. >> you know, you have forced mooy to change my outlook of

this and now i am in love with him. >> he is a wonderful dresser as evidenced by the photograph you showed. >> he s. he is a role model for our nation's youth. congressman, had you been invited to the shindig would you have attended this travisty. would you have demanded president obama's impeachment immediately? >> i just figured out who psy was three minutes ago shows you how hip i am. >> no big deal? >> my feeling is does anything matter anymore? >> i see a very long therapy session. >> i don't know. let me ask you pab. obama is in charge of the invite list. and this was for the children's medical center or so they claim. are we being too hard on him for having this obvious anti-american freak on the

show? >> we know he sucks up to celebrities. you have to go back and look at something every celebrity has done or said to determine it. but it did hit the public eye and with all due respect it does appear he was president talking about the yankees. he did say kill the mothers, kill the daughters. not many of those on the yankees and kill them slowly, kill them painfully. i don't think when you are talking about killing as a comedian that's what you did. that's what you do. i don't know. >> i am the professional. >> this is true. >> i think steve has raised some facts. >> are you schwartz? >> i am schwartz. >> the thing that outragessed

me was opening up on the summer tour. that was beyond the pale. he was amazing. he blew him off the stage. >> it is his ability to sing, dance or make anybody remotely happy. no question. i just wanted you to be aware of that. >> why am i called that? again we mentioned pes psy if you want to pronounce it correctly. i feel like the only hip person here. i know if i were to say no to every charity i was invited to because i disagreed with what one person said i would never go to any ball period. but in 2004 i sent a whole bunch of -- i said a bunch of god awful things. but i did not have a camera following me all the time. such was psy's lot and now he regrets it and he apologizes

and he is sad about it. >> the interesting thing about the regret is based on the fact that where he was before america was the bully. and when america identifies you or decides to say that you are now famous and wonderful you have to change your tune. >> he is a national treasure now. >> all it takes is this and you are a national treasure. >> it is a unique way of getting milk out of a cow. >> that is so pathetic though. >> that is wrong. >> it is correct how you get milk from a cow. >> at some point i pill show you the right way. >> it lets you know how appreciated we are for the troops and the korean war thing. >> that's a good point. if north korea entered he would be doing his dance and screaming for help. >> he might be doing the same dance, but he would be a lot thinner. >> i think we realize he should be killed.

>> from psy to syborg. a new report from our intelligence committee says in a couple decades america will no longer be the world's only super power. no one country will be dominant. according to the global trends, the united states will most likely be first among equals but nations like brazil will continue to rise. and let's not forget hawaii. more importantly we will all be syborgs. they note future retinal eye implants could cause neuro enhancements and provide memory recall. they could enhance strength and speed and provide functions not previously available. let's go to future kitty live from the year 2030.

>> that's better than psy. >> that's fantastic. >> you enjoy that a little too much. >> here is the thing. >> that's just between the cat and myself. >> the only congressman to utter that in the history of politics. >> i thought the moment i would sit down in this chair it would be crashing and burning. >> i cannot wait until they take my cell phone and embed it in my skull. that way i always know where it is at. that's true. >> and set it on vibrate. i want to ask you a semiserious question. if we are aware that we are on the road to decline. people accept decline because it takes pressure off you. you don't have to be number

one. are you can be number two and number four. do we want -- if we know this is going in this direction, shouldn't we try to stop it? and how do we stop it? >> how many liberals do we have as friends? they are tired of the united states being dominant. michael ian black wants us to be married alive. >> paul ryan described it as our safety hammock. it is spread from coast to coast and we can lays in all of the good day long. yes, congressman, you named the liberal prerogative. >> i don't know. here is my feeling, pab. aren't these predictions always wrong? i know it is a cliche, but we are supposed to have cell phones phones and flat screens. >> where are they? this is the intelligence community. they didn't see the arab spring. they didn't see the fall of the soviet block. a lot of things we have gotten wrong. i don't know how much validity

-- >> nobody saw honey boo boo coming. >> but they did predict the ipad. jay they d. >> and they didn't see honey boo boo coming. >> and who saw gangnan style to bring it back around? >> within pab's innan comment there is pessimists never see the optimism of creativity. we always seem to somehow solve our problems. we talk about in the late 60s talking about starvation. we figured that out. there are problems i myself have solved. >> we have clearly solved starvation. we have solved climate change. >> i did that myself. >> i am right. >> i am telling you -- >> if it weren't for the pessimists we wouldn't have figured all of these things out. >> you can't spell pessimists without pests. >> or mists. >> bill, you are talking. the report gave uh 4% chance of still being alive in 2030.

is that over legion russ? >> i think so. >> and more advances of viagra. >> weak. >> i think you brought up an excellent point. they said we will start starving in the 60s. the opposite has happened. woo we are morbidly obese. if they said look to china let's focus on belgium. >> the opposite is going to happen. china frob blee will be starving, and they will have more girls than boys. but belgium is where we should be pointing our focus. >> you know why? the chocolate. it is the chocolate. >> they are wired and ready to go. congressman, serious question, what do we need to do to be number one? take out all of these other countries. just a suggestion. not that we should, but we should. >> look, the reality is go

back to the population bomb. the reality is technology has leaked us forward. how do you make sure that we as a country do the things whether it be making sure we are competitive and i won't go into my tax discussion, but we need to rebuild our tax code to be competitive with the world. >> the congressman is right. i think that we always end up -- america creates the stuff that makes the world go. we have the most freedom. people come here to make things. will this be the next steven jobs from china? i don't know. if you have a creative idea there is the ability to find capital and you are not regulated out of existence. those are the things that make us vibrant so we are always

renewing ourself, so we are always competitive. >> i want you -- >> we just assumed it. >> if you agree with him, we don't have a show. >> the regulation part. >> the iron fist of government. >> you and your liberal ilk. >> at the end of the tax code do we find out mary is actually married to jesus? >> spoiler alert. >> from syborgs to scientists should they steer more engineers? well florida state wants to coach college students into degg tuitions for certain majors 6789. governor rick scott is finding ways to turn out graduates with marketable skills. as the new york times, a paper, reports, it couldn't be blunter. give us scientists and specialists and technology experts.

do not worry so much about historians. what are they? philosophers, boo. anthropologists, bra and english man. and free tuition for majors in strategic areas. so they would pay less for a degree in engineering and biotechnology than in french lit, whatever that is. professors in departments like philosophy aren't taking it well. >> that was one of the dates on millionaire match maker. that was a shame. pab, you never went to college and it shows. should they be telling them what to study. >> have i a master ease's degree, but it depends. >> that response was even

better. taxpayer funded colleges, that's the key here. as the guy who ran this test, he says people pay taxes expecting the public good will be served to the greatest degree possible. we call that a return on the investment. the return on the investment if you are giving taxpayer dollars is for these people to get jobs and become productive members of society. if you want to go to college it is the goal, but you can pay for that yourself. >> i like that. >> i think making it more goal oriented. >> what was your master's in? >> communication. >> you just communicated that very well. >> are you then saying that government has no place in college education or pax payers have no place in college education or the taxpayers should then fund careers that the country decides it needs?

>> the second one sort of. as this guy is saying there are certain degrees they have slown are going to get you a job and others that have a poor track record of actually getting you a job. they don't want to eliminate those. they are just saying they will incenti vies the fields that are creating the most jobs by giving you a discount on your few -- on your tuition. you can still go and get the other education. i guess i went a step further than they did. but i was just trying to make a poin. it -- a point. >> that proves the point here. >> an unnecessary jab, and he is right. >> look, the reality of it is how many times do we hear we are not producing enough engineers. we are not producing enough of the high-tech skill set. well start finding the incentive that drives students to where they are going to have a future and a career and

actually benefit us as a crai. as a country. >> can't argue with that. >> say something. >> i think we should get rid of college altogether. no one who is 18 knows what they want to do with the rest of their life. they will go to the philosophy school, or they will find an actual trade school and learn how to do something and if they don't like it, learn something else. example, if you were just to do law school how long does that take? a year? six months? easy. all of those things won't take that long. you will learn something and get baying to your country and college be damned. get the classic education in high school. >> i have an opinion, but i don't have time now because we are coming up on a hard break. look at me there. >> for the record, i hate this conversation. i think you are all totally wrong. >> it is on the record. >> coming up is there more to life than family and work?

patti ann browne discusses her new book, i heart shoplifting. but first could one couple's break up get anymore awesome?

rightly object all the time which is social engineering. >> greg, the show can wait. >> they are still arguing over the section. >> they are take winners and losers because of the education. >> they are getting subsidized right now. >> it is okay. this is what the show is all about. ignoring the structures of a show. >> you are interruptiing. >> we were having a good debate here. >> we are going to have 90 seconds left for this story.

this is actually more hurtful than the future of our country. should their split be a youtube hit? a brooklyn couple decided to break up and they wanted to share the news with friends in the most annoying way they know how by making a music video. in their five-year relationship after disagreeing about whether to have children , thank god they said no, but how to tell the world, i didn't want to make a post on facebook and have that be it and then explain it over and over again. tell me about it. they made this. >> ♪ i want to have kids. ♪ and i really don't ♪ ♪ i thought that you might some day ♪ ♪ but i really won't ♪ so we have to break up ♪ it is the only way ♪ i would recent you ♪ and that's not fair ♪ we still love each other

♪ but needed you to know ♪ we have to break up >> i can relate. my exin college broke up with me with this video. >> i heard that loud and clear, bessie. she still writes in crayon. >> michael, were you saying you were brought to tears by this video when you first saw it. >> absolutely. i don't understand the criticism. taylor swift made $150 million. it was the exact same thing. she has a better wardrobe. these people -- we make fun of everything for being cynicism. this is straight from the heart and ernest.

they are musicians. this is what they do. >> i agreed with you until you called them these people. >> i don't know where you are coming from, but this is 2012. >> i should have clarified. these sub humans. >> congressman, what is your take on this? >> if i have somebody that will share misery with me, i might as well be entertained. >> i like that, pab. >> why do they remain friends with each one of them? why can't they say take that -- i i don't want them, you noy what i mean? >> well, they are trying to make the point that you don't have to choose. i am rooting for them and i think you folks should give it another try. i like the song. >> it is all fake. most of your break ups happen when the homeless man you were sleeping with over doses. have you ever considered a

video out of that? >> no that is like a snuff film. they always die. maybe i canned dit it. i can edit it. three thumbs up. i thought it was a tune i can tap my teat to. my feet to. my only quibble is the make up. she looked a little jaundice. >> she looked a lot jaundice. >> compared to you. >> i am single so i can critique. right there she looks a little jaundice. my hope is that she doesn't in fact have the hepc or what have you. if she does, johnny, buddy, she is probably too weak to have a child. >> you are terrible. what a way to poison what is already a -- >> she poisoned herself with the dirty needle of a tatooist. >> that never happens. >> by the way adding probably to a sentence doesn't make it right. >> rewind the tape,

allegedly. >> all right, allegedly. >> thank you for that. >> you are welcome. >> call me ivory. >> i do not have hep. >> you have seven kinds of hep. >> >> you have hep-q. >> but not hep-c. >> e-mail us. it is red eye at fox news.com. if you have a video of your animal doing something interesting click on submit a video. we might still use it. the half time report from tv's andy levy, yet, help a -- hep-a, b, c, d and e and f. >> the half time report brought to you from the bird had of the the -- the birds of the southern hemisphere. thanks, penguins.

let's 2 to andy levy. hi, andy. >> hi, greg. >> what's wrong? >> nothing. >> what happened? >> i don't want to talk about it. >>- >> what happened? >> nothing happened. >> something happened between the a and c block. what happened? the vending machine got stuck and you couldn't get your funyons. >> it is fantasy football related. psy, mib, when psy rap killed the yankees he was not talking -- >> one of us is fluent in korean and one of us isn't,

andy and i'm pretty sure i got the translation right. >> say something in korean. >> i like you. >> by the way, in korean that means i hate him. >> amazing. >> congressman, you seriously didn't know who psy was until this show? >> i am humiliated, but no i am not that hip. >> i believe that. >> look, there is a reason i am not invited to the cool kids' party. >> you shouldn't go to kid parties though. it is bad news. >> greg, you said obama was in charge of the invite list. >> i said wasn't. >> you said was. >> i said wasn't. >> am buds man said you -- >> no, no, no. >> i thought he said was. >> i said obama isn't in charge of invite list and it raises money for the medical center. >> it was a slip of the

tongue, greg. you said is. >> i thought you said is. >> the viewers at home can decide by rewinding right now. >> they can. >> and why don't we wait. >> okay. >> see. >> okay. >> pab, you said you found the whole thing disgusting, but as greg points out, this time correctly, it is a charity concert for children. he shouldn't be making a political statement there, should he? >> it is a very difficult situation. you can't just veto these celebrities based on these statements. >> yes you can. >> there wouldn't be anybody left. >> it is a separate question whether you want to talk about tnt should have uninvited him. that's a pretty question. once he is there i don't think the president had any choice but to sit there and shake his hand and do whatever, right? >> maybe. he would have had to make it

into a huge political statement. >> right, at a charity concert. >> andy wouldn't it have been awesome and president obama won a third term if he punched him in the face. if psy would have said this is for the troops and punched him in the face and then everybody at this table would have voted for obama. >> i feel if obama would have run for a third term hillary clinton would beat the crap out of him. >> true. >> i am afraid given this controversy psy may never again have a song that anyone in america cares about. >> strongly distbre. >> i think psy will be with us a long, long -- >> do you? >> oh yes. that guy does not have one hit wonder written all over him. >> you don't think so? >> no, no, no. >> you ask why you are called the psy of fox news? >> yes. >> after you speak people go -- >>- q. i and they wait a little

longer and they say i like the cut of his -- >> congressman, this lets us know how appreciated wree n south korea. it is a generational thing over there. the older people who remember what we did for them and understand what we are doing for them appreciate us. >> but if the troops weren't there they would be speaking korean. >> just like michael ian black. >> i will say it again, i like you. >> future report. congressman you said liberal's report is for the united states to stop being dominant. what if we did take a break from being the world's only super power. what if we let europe defend europe and south korea defend south korea and said we will take care of ourselves for awhile. >> and my great fear is the chaos that arrives from that. >> why do you fear chaos,

sir? >> excellent point. >> the argument though is that these other countries that want to replace us don't have an idea. but america is an idea. so when america decides not to be in charge you lose the idea of exceptionalism that other countries don't have. >> but do we care? >> i don't know. >> what if we just put charles in charge? >> of our days and our nights? >> scott baio would do an excellent job. >> i think he would. >> have you seen the women he has been with? >> not recently. >> all of them. >> really? >> can you picture nicole eggert at the white house? >> i met scott baio's wife is dynamite and nicole eggert is

not bad and pamela anderson. >> and heather locklear. >> allegedly on that one. >> it is true. got it from tommy lee. >> bill asked if being given a 24% chance was overly optimistic. you said you thought so with all of the medical advances. >> there will be a lot of advances i predict. >> so it is not overly optimistic to say you have a 4% chance. >> i'm sorry i heard the miss question, but you miss heard me. >> a little sad nobody talked about the syborg stuff here. >> have you your plat 4thof july here. >> if you -- platform. >> if you don't care, that's your problem. >> i am the one that wanted

the embedded phone. i figure i will never lose it that way. >> you know what andy wants? he wants an embedded cat. >> wherever you go you can have cat eyes. >> are you talking about me or the congressman? >> i thought you were talking about congressman. >> i am watching the career go -- >> "red eye" purpose is term limits. >> they have accomplished that. >> i am going to jump ahead to the hipster couple thing. the music video thing. you applauded this and tbaif it five stars. couldn't disagree more. this is the worst thing psy ever did. >> do tell. >> i just did tell. >> what do you object to? you object to the kinds of

issues young people are facing on a daily basis? the kind of issues that every couple has to struggle with in dealing with this kind of new america where two incomes are needed and women #r* encouraged to have careers and family. they are struggling with these issues. >> i would like them to struggle with these issues in private the way i do. also she plays the base claire net. give me a break. >> by your argument you are saying women should not have a career. >> yes. >> that was pretty clear. >> awful. apparently i have to go. >> time for one more question. >> i wanted to let michael and the congressman talk a little more about this tuition stuff because they seem to be getting into it a little bit. >> we got into it a little bit off camera during the break, and then it has lead to greg's precious television show.

>> but i did appreciate you admitting how wrong you were. >> that has never happened. jay now this we solved that. back to you. >> are today's adult males suffering from stunted adolescents? we discuss his latest book. first, will bill be a daring young man on the flying trapeze? if he falls to his death. why not?

aerial exercise can slim your thighs according to the prompter, and as it happens there is a school in midtown manhattan offering classes in all manor of high flying circus re. that's not even a reared. that's not even a word. so we sent bill schulz to check out aerial arts nyc while silently praying he would come back in a casket. >> thanks, greg, i am at aerial arts nyc.

i will get in shape circus style. watch me now as i get my aerial on. >> you look like you should be in front of a mercedes. >> you can smile, and you can breathe. >> i am the king of the world. >> let's do this again. >> i am here with chris for our next art move. what do we have going today? >> we have the trapeze. >> the static trapeze. >> falic? >> no. >> i hear what i want. >> that's the first angel. and then we go back and under the trapeze and that's your second angel. >> i can't decide between the two angels.

i want to take them both home. >> smile for the camera. there we go. >> that's the angel. >> i am an angel. >> now we are going to work on the aerial hoop. >> i like it. >> the best part of this is we will be spinning. >> if we want to show the flexibility we can grab our foot. >> spider-man kiss. >> somebody kiss him. >> spider-man kiss. >> good news and she is also cute. they are all over the place around here. what are we doing. >> this is the aerial hammock. i will show you how to do the aerial into a hammock. >> i don't want to be redundant, but aren't all aerials off the ground? this is fun to watch. >> notice when you go long you

will come to a ball like a mermaid. >> very much like a mermaid. i prefer per man. for the benefit of our audience can you say you look like a per man? >> so what do i look like right now? >> you look like a per man. -- merman. >> dam right. >> i feel like an astronaut in training. a dude astronaut. >> there -- this is the right stuff. >> i injured my rib so if i can't get as high as i normally would you would understand. i am under duress. >> if it is possible can we blur out josh so it looks like i was doing that on my own without help? cool.

>> well, it looks likes i nailed another one. i feel more flexible and more able to climb and more able to tumble. i'll tumble are to you. nothing left to be done but to hit on some gym nays chicks. >> well that was precious. bill, what i gather from this is you just did an mos based on the fact that you heard there were cute girls at this thing. >> and i went home with that josh dude. he is good on the bars and i liked his handlebars. only in photos -- that i have above my bed. >> so you didn't get phone numbers ? >> no, but if are you interested $80 for the first class and $100 after that. i am more flexible than i was. >> clearly. >> michael eye yen black, a

lot of people like to give these away. >> classes? >> qlases. classes. isn't that a bad idea. >> no. i am conducting my own sat tutoring class. we meet twice a week and mostly take aterol. >> you also have korean as a second language. >> very, very popular among americans who may be traveling to south korea. >> the classes are called, i like you. >> let's get out of this mess. tim to take a break. when we come back, we will talk about something.

the latest men's fashion trend is male leggings or meggings as seen here. some celebrities were spotted wearing them. they said they are more comfortable than skinny jeans. it is nice to show them off all year-round. that quote by the way, charles manson. mib, are you ready to embrace the trend and get a pair of your own? >> absolutely. i just got these skinny jeans recently. i have them pegged so they show off the cankle.

i am ready to embrace meggings if that is the next thing. >> is this a real trend? >> i hope not. i am just working out wearing extra full size wranglers. >> no spanx for you? pab, do you hope to see more men in tights or more tights walking around in men? >> it is shakespear yen, but no. >> because they involve cod pieces? or tights? >> bill, don't nfl players wear megggs every week and isn't it macho and isn't this story stupid? >> which part do you want me to answer first? the nfl, yes, they wear that stuff. >> it didn't have to do with jeans and khakis, and it was like little -- you had these leggings things. if you could have the meggings come back, this is not as

stupid as meggings. >> i just know it sounds vaguely racist. >> maybe it is because i think it is racist. >> why did we do that story? >> it is fun to say meggings. >> that was the dumbest story we have done in a year. >> the fact of the matter is it is 2:45 and everyone is asleep. >> it doesn't matter. >> there is another two minutes of my life i am never giving back. >> now you know what meggings is. >> if you would be willing to edit my appearance on the show -- >> we willed dit it out and then send it with our constituents.

see you back here at 5:00 p.m. for something called "the five." a new "red eye" returns tomorrow. back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> congressman, are we going over that there cliff? >> at this moment i think we are. >> cool. >> it is not the going over part. it is the sudden stop when you hit the ground. >> it is a bottomless pit. >> michael? >> yes. >> what is wrong with me? >> you know what it is, andy? sometimes i think you care too much. >> that's very true.